Selfish Me

When my brother was in a nursing home
Lying on his death bed soon to die.
I was taking a shower just getting ready
Hoping to see him again alive.

My father asked me why I was getting all ready
And to hurry we don't want to be late.
I answered,"I want him to remember me pretty
And not to worry because Zach will wait."

On our way to the nursing home I remembered
The blessing my father gave the night before.
How mad I was when I heard him ask to take him
So he could be in a better place and feel pain no more.

I believed a miracle would happen
And that he'd turn out all right.
When I looked at him with his oxygen mask on
I had a feeling the miracle was not in sight.

As we walked into the nursing home
There wasn't a person whitout eyes full of tears.
And then there came my sister Natalie
Yelling,"This just isn't fair!"

I ran inside his room and then to his bed
Hoping to get a reply and that he wouldn't be dead.
I grabbed his hand and told him how much I loved him
It was then that I heard a voice and it said:

"I know you wanted him to stay
But I had a different plan today."
I looked at my mother who was sitting by his bed
She said,"There was no way", as she shook her head.

I gave him a hug and then kissed his cheek
At that point I was feeling very weak.
I couldn't help but to burst into tears
Knowing that that was one of my worst fears.

Losing a brother was one of the hardest trials
And boy was I in so much denial.
I had wished things would not have to be
But then again what SELFISH ME!!!

--Elizabeth Blatter (Zach's baby sister)
Zach passed away 7 years ago on March 26th, 2002 from testicular cancer. This is a poem I wrote in high school remembering my thoughts and feelings as I reflect on this very hard day of my older brother's passing. I LOVE you Zach and miss you tons!!! I know I'll see you again!!!

Love,
Booger

"Until we meet again, May God hold you in the palms of His hands." (That's embroidered in his casket.)